That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
