Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize