Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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