Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
