Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
