I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
