I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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