Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
