It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Another day, another engagement, another cat
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
