Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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