it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
