my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
