I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize