did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize