I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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