I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
