Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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