just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
