If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
