the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
