bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
