Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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