apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
