I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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