DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
