This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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