I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
