Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
