Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
