forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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