she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
