So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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