how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I need moral support for this bender
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
