I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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