sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
