my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
