i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
