I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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