girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
