if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
