Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
where are my eyebrows?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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