$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
