We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
