Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
