Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize