barbara walters just said penis...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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