nutella sex= disaster
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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