Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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