Can i not drive my cunt home
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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