I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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