I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize