You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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