# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize