You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
