Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
