Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
