He kissed a someone with a penis
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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