Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
