Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
