come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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