NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
