Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
