I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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