I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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