Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
where does the pee come out of this thing
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
