I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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