I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
