And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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