He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
