He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
