So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
